Thursday, February 15, 2007

Post Fast Day 1

What happened to 30 days? Just like so many others, I didn't make it either. And I am just fine with that. First let me explain why. I juice fasted for many reasons, curiosity being a large one, but more importantly to break a nasty habit and to lose weight. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit so habit broken. And I lost a final 37 pounds. Since I have run a few times, my body is starting to get hungry again. I don't want to damage my body or send myself into shock. I like the new look, although my clothes don't fit, and feel much better. I have started drinking soy milk which has a lot of protein, and I believe that to be triggering my body to want more protein. If I am supposed to be healthy and trying to change my lifestyles the last thing I want to do is hurt myself by working too hard with out the right nutrients.

I went to lunch at a place down the street from work and had a small salad and water. I paid eight dollars with tip! One of the joys of fasting was how easy it was for me to save a little. For dinner, I made some raw veggie spring rolls which I probably will be very sick of by the time I have really broken the fast.

In addition to breaking the fast, I ran 2 miles, and played basketball for a whole 4o minute game. I am feeling wonderful and surprised I can handle all the miles and exercise. Keeping the weight off will be a challenge, but I think I am ready for it.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Day 21

This is the 3 week mark, a goal I am proud to have finished. Today is Sunday, my busiest work day and as soon as I made it to church, everyone is noticing the weightloss. I love the fact that I look better, but I hate telling people how I have been doing it. People look at me and think I am crazy. Maybe I am. After Sunday school, I headed home for a quick mango, pineapple, and pear juice, my new favorite, before heading off to our championship game. We are playing St. Francis, the number 1 seed who has beaten everyone all year year and has a record of I believe 24-1. They have beaten us by 20 points the two times we played them. It doesn't really matter, I am proud of my boys and their year, and they should feel so proud of themselves for making it this far.
As it turns out, my boys didn't want to give up. They played better defense then they have played all year and St. Francis couldn't handle the pressure. The Grace St. Luke's 5th grade boys are the new Bishop's Tournament champions. I know winning isn't everything but it really feels good today.
I have been struggling with ending the fast most of the day. I know I will make it through the day and all my afternoon programing, but I think I am ready to eat again. I am hungry and I have been saying, whenever I get hungry, I need to eat. Is this what hunger feels like? I will decide tomorrow if it is time to break the fast.

Day 20

After such a bold victory yesterday, I woke up to juice and a third round playoff game. I will spare you all the details, but we beat the #2 seed in double overtime. I couldn't believe the game although we kind of took over in the second OT. I don't know if my heart could of handled another buzzer game winner. I have had so much energy. Right after the game, I went and caught the last few minutes of one of the youth I work with's Bball game and then decided to hit the track. I ran 2 miles with out any breaks! I even managed to do this in about a 17 30 pace, which isn't very fast, but much quicker than I anticipated.
I love running and it has been years since I have been able to be serious about it. Today has given me the confidence that I will be able to get back into the sport. But what if this is too soon? I am a little nervous that I have run two days in a row on the juice fast. I told the girl that I am seeing and she was actually pretty scared. She doesn't think my weight loss is healthy, (she likes the results though), and wants me to wait until I start eating real food before I run. I have to wonder if she is right.

Friday, February 9, 2007

Day 19

What a day! I woke up to go and buy some running shoes. Instead of trying them out, I made a trip to the Vietnamise grocery store around the corner. The store has such a fantastic selection of produce and it is less than half the price of all the other grocery stores. I had a blend of an oriental pear, apple, and mango juice for lunch. It was one of the best juices I have had since I started my fast.
This evening, I witnessed one of the greatest basketball games of my life. The 5th grade team that I help coach was down 16-2 at the end of the first quarter. They clawed their way back to be down by 1, 34-33 with 11 seconds left. After a missed shot and a rebound, we shot the ball with only fractions on the clock to win the game. Everyone rushed the court and I nearly fell over. My heart was racing more than after any race or game I have ever played in. I felt so energized that when I got home, I decided to test out my new running shoes. I ran 1.75 miles with out walking which although it took me almost 20 minutes, I haven't even been able to run that far with out stopping in years. I got in a rhythm and just like years ago when I was a pretty serious runner, I found myself getting in sync with the sound of my feet hitting the pavement. Tomorrow I am going for two, but I think I will head to a track to go a little easier on my body.

Day 18

Thursdays are my Fridays. The last day of the week when I try to have all my work finished up. I still can't believe how productive I have been today. But the best news of all today is my GI track is back to functioning normally. I'll leave out the details. I had a glass of Soy Milk today. I have been nervous about the whole protein issue so I decided to break down and grab a carton. I will begin my running program this weekend so I need to make sure I am healthy. I also made an appointment with an Internist although she didn't have an opening until March. My dad has been pestering me for 3 years now to go and get a physical and although, I know I am healthier now, it can't hurt to get checked out.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Day 17

What is spiritual enlightenment? I still have no clue. I am not sure what I was expecting except at day 17 I certainly don't think this is hell, yet I also am quite certain that I have not been enlightened. But what I have found wonderful is this new ability I seem to have to concentrate. All week, I have been focused, determined, and very efficient. I have accomplished more this week in three days then what I would think possible in a full week.

Yet this might not be due to my fasting. I have my 3rd boss in almost three years, but the parish gets the impression that Mark will be here for quite a while. Things finally seem to be leveling out at church as my coworkers and I are beginning to feel functional again. Still, I have had no caffeine in these 17 days, which if you had asked me when I had started, I would be surprised I would even be able to work. I wake up fairly easily and although I need to wake up an entire hour before I want to be at work now, (juicing takes a little longer in the morning than an ego, bagel, or no breakfast), I feel refreshed in the morning and able to tackle the full day.

On the health side, I haven't lost a little weight in a while. I got on the scale tonight and back at 202lbs. My weight has increased? I haven't had a BM in about a week, so tomorrow I will start to be a little more regular with the laxatives. I do feel pretty healthy and I am starting to understand what people mean when they talk about this feeling of youthfulness that starts to hit around this time of the 30 day fast. I honestly do feel better than I have in years, and I haven't even had any solid food!

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Day 16

I now am rolling downhill! I have been filled with so much energy at work today. I reorganized everything and then just started knocking out tasks. I love the way I feel, or I did until about 4pm. All of that energy died instantly and I felt as if I ran into a brick wall. I went to my 5th grade B-ball team's last practice which honestly was a relief since I am looking forward to regaining that time. I was completely out of it and exhausted. By about 9pm I started to feel a lot better. I haven't had any of these supposed cleansing bouts so I wonder if this was my first. I have been doing a much better job of straining the juice so that no fiber is in what I drink. Oh and I had my first bowl of vegetable broth. I don't think I was supposed to get the canned kind as opposed to making my own, but it sure tasted good to have something warm. I also came so close to drinking alcohol. I don't no why but I really miss a good beer.

Day 15

The halfway point. I felt like I would never make it. Part of me wanted to give up after two weeks. Its hard now to quit because I feel so good. I look better than I have in years and that seems to be translating to success in many different areas. I have been more productive at work. I have a better grasp on what I am trying to accomplish. I have trouble picturing myself doing this all over again which essential is what I am doing. I know I will loose more weight but it hasn't really been coming off me that much anymore which is probably a good thing. I had a late basketball game tonight, a 9pm game which I always hate. I ran a lot but I couldn't find my chi. After hitting the first bucket of the night, I felt like I couldn't make the ball go through the rim no matter what I did. It still felt great to get out and run around.

Monday, February 5, 2007

Day 14

Super Bowl Sunday! What a day. Not only are two of my favorite teams playing but it is such a festive and fun event. I worked all day. Today was one of my longest, about 13 hours without a break. That wasn't hard. Being at our Youth Group Super Bowl party with all the delicious looking treats everywhere and not eating was difficult. I bought my first bit of processed vegetable juice or V8 for my own consumption at the party. Everyone was sipping on the Dr. Peppers and munching on chicken and sausage gumbo. Everywhere there was food and treats and snacks from cookies to cheese dip. I would normally be in heaven and at many times I thought about breaking the fast.

However I feel better. I look better. My head is clearer. I know this is good for me as difficult as it is, the results are already here and making a difference. This may not be a cleansing experience. It really hasn't been as spiritual as I expected initially either, but I now it is good for me and helping me to regain control of my body.

Day 12 & 13

I hate doing this but I have been slacking and have fallen a few days behind so I am combining two days. To be honest. These days have not been special. Instead of my normal activities on a Friday & Saturday night, I have been a little more reserved. I did take my mom to Beale Street on Friday night. I haven't had a problem at all with being at bars and drinking water. I suspected that I would hate going out and just always want to be home watching TV or something of that sort. I have been having a blast out. We went to the International Blues Competetion and got to hear a bunch of great musicians.

I have been losing weight at an unbelievable rate. Most people think its unhealthy, but all are pretty prowd of me. I have been in such horrible shape for so long. But I don't feel I have really been cleansing. Everything I read about this healing process, I just don't feel my body is healing. It is almost if I sense the damage I have done is permenant, and no amount of juice fasting well heal me. I feel healther but am nervous this is only temporary. What if, I can't keep the weight off? What if it all comes back?

Friday, February 2, 2007

Day 11

I stepped on the scale this morning when I woke up. 203 pounds!! I haven't been this light sense my belly was growing in the opposite direction my freshman year of college. It's been about 8 years and I am finally back. I still have a little way to go, but I am getting to feel better and more confident than I have in ages. Today was a great day. I worked, accomplished a whole lot, went downtown to the International Blues Challenge, went to a Bela. Fleck and the Flecktones show, and only drank 3 juices all day. I was in several smokey bars on Beale Street and for the first time in my life, I wish they would pass that resolution in Tennessee that wouldn't let people smoke in public places. California, Colorado, and other states have. Why not clean up Memphis a little?

I feel like I am getting in a routine now. I am used to the juice diet, although I am looking foward to getting off of it so I can start a new routine of health and fitness. I want to run a marathon. I used to be a runner and now I have an urge to try to get those runnin legs back. I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Day 10

I feel like Day 10 is a monstrous milestone. If you had asked me months ago if I could go 10 days with out solid food, I would have laughed, but I feel great and can't believe I am here. Day 10 has been pretty wonderful. If you can't tell, I wait until the next day to write as I feel like my mind is clearest earlier in the day.

Day 10 brought a tremendous amount of productivity to the table. I was able to finish my newsletter which usually takes me a day and half in about 3/4ths of a day. I am responsible for creating an eight page newsletter which forces me to be creative in writing, fresh ideas, and creative as far as computer graphics go. I was blown away how quickly I was working and how much I could accomplish. I worked until 8:15pm and only had two juices all day. When I did get home I made a concoction of beet, parsley, carrot, apple, and ginger. Someone online swore it was their favorite, but far from mine. However, I know I was able to restock up on some nutrients that my body needs.

I am feeling a little more emotional than usual. I feel like I am sheltering some feelings while letting out too many others. I got really worked up about something right before I left work, which although I still feel justified about, I just feel a little more vulnerable. Is it because I am fasting? I wonder if I more sensitive than usual right now?

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Day 9

Have I been fasting my whole life? It feels like ages since I have eaten any real food yet I am less than a 1/3 of the way finished with my fast. The person I started this with dropped out after day 7. How long will I be able to continue? I feel pretty good though today. The hunger has faded. I am not hungry, I just drink juice when I can which is usually around 32-48 ounces a day but I drink a ton of water. After basketball practice today a friend of mine went and saw our high school basketball teams play each other. We stopped at a health food store on the way and had a freshly made juice! I cannot tell you how excited I am. This place is so close to work which means, I can have lunch any working day!

Day 8

Ah, I have gotten behind in my journaling, but no worries, I am still fasting. Day 8 was Monday which is always a really slow day. Although I start my week on Sunday, half of my office is out on Monday so everything is just a little quieter and slower. Although the peace is really nice sometimes when you are trying to get big projects done, the quietness can feel kind of creepy.

Today my body feels a little slowed down. Besides feeling extra tired and having a cramp in my right arm, a woman I work with gave me a scare about protein. Do I need more protein than I am getting? I panicked and went straight to Wild Oats, which now I am fairly confident that I have enough protein and if I really crave it will have a glass of soy milk. Either way, as warned by everything I have studied, people will be suspicious of a fast. Why wouldn't they. I haven't had food except in the liquid form for 8 days yet my body feels good.

This evening I probably did something that wasn't the best for me. I played basketball. Its weird, my arm was feeling tired, my body was tired, yet I scored more points than I have all season, but I know the running around was not letting my body take care of healing process. None the less, I will watch the physical activity at least until next Monday when our game comes around.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Day 7

I woke up today rested as ever. For the first time in a while I haven't hit the snooze button. Looking ahead at my calendar for the day, I knew that I had a long one in me so I had some vegetable juice instead of fruit juice for breakfast. This morning was broccoli and cucumber with a little lemon which, believe it or not, isn't half bad. My morning concluded with having to be at a huge lunch with almost two hundred people who nearly all had brought their own favorite side dishes and several pigs worth of pulled pork provided by the church. Although, I was able to hold of my urges to eat and appear to be in a fairly good mood, I left the church for a quick break seriously doubting my ability to make it 30 days.

Since I had an hour or two before I needed to be back at church, I thought I would go check in with my parents whom I hadn't seen in a while, and they own a scale. I hung out with them for quite a while but I kept wondering what this fast was doing to my weight. Clothes have been fitting a little looser, but I wasn't really expecting a major difference. 208lbs which I misread for 213lbs but either way the last time I weighed in about a month ago I was between 230 and 235lbs.
I feel better than I have felt in ages. A friend pointed out today that we often use many things to help cover our feelings whether it is food, alcohol, or nicotine. All of those and others fill little gaps and help shelter what is really going on inside. By fasting I feel able to really connect with what I am feeling. Is that how my spiritual journey begins? Am I gaining better clarity on who I am and my own strengths and weaknesses? I hope so and really feel like it today. Day 7, 1 week, has been a wonderful milestone. At points I didn't think I would make it this far, but feeling the way I do now, and seeing the immediate results, which won't make a difference unless I change my old eating habits, have given me that extra push to at least take this next 7 days in full stride.

Day 6

After spending an entire day thinking about food roughly every 2 to 3 minutes, my sixth day has been much more enjoyable. God's gift to lay professionals: real days off. It is so rare that I actually have a full day off without a phone conversation, an afternoon of emails (often I do this to myself), or some small errand to run for work. Saturday was a true day off which I spent, sleeping in, lounging around watching movies, helping a friend move a piece of furniture and then retiring back to my couch for more tube. I haven't had a day like this in ages.

I feel better too. The hunger is there, but I feel like I have control over my feelings and cravings. Also I know I will be well rested for one massive day of work tomorrow.

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Day 5

Well, each day I keep writing about how this is so easy and I really haven't been craving food nearly as much as I imagined. That banter stops now! I have been so hungry all day that I haven't been able to think about much more. I still have energy and my body feels healthy with the exception of a few pains that feel like growing pains.

A friend of mine and I were in the mall this afternoon and we passed by a hotdog stand. They had these deliciously looking hotdogs that looked like giant pigs in a blanket. I seriously considered ending the fast right then and there, but deep down I knew that I would only feel aweful afterwards. Not only would I have broken my own promise, but something tells me I need to be careful about the amount of greasy and buttery food I put into my body. I have given up on trying to explain to people why in the world I am fasting on nothing but juice for 30 days. It seems worthless to even try to explain in any form of encounter. Everyone just looks at me like I am some complete idiot, which the more I try to rationlize why I am doing this, I believe there might be some truth to it.

At least every five minutes I think about what food I will eat first, how great all of my favorites taste and if it is possible to juice a cheeseburger. Sushi seems to be the choice right now for my first real meal which will come a few days after breaking the fast. Will I make it to double digits? Food... I miss you so much....

Friday, January 26, 2007

Day 4

Waking up feeling rested is something I could get used to. I have energy and have been able to suppress my appetite, but today my body has been aching a little. I feel almost as if I have growing pains which from all I have read would suggest my body is working on cleansing the toxins. Being at work around lunch time has been a little more difficult to deal with. I have to find ways of keeping busy and away from everyone else who is eating. My smelling senses have improved beyond what I ever would have imagined. I can sense who is eating what from quite a ways away. At the same time, I don’t want to bring juice to work because it doesn’t seem to stay nearly as fresh even if I put it in the fridge.

I found myself dosing off quite a bit around the early evening. But overall I feel great. I am hungry. I have thought about sushi for most of the day. A few days earlier it was buffalo wings. But what does surprise me the most is what little our bodies actually need to survive. I have been spending years filling it with junk when I could have been eating healthier, living a healthier lifestyle and feeling much better about myself. My new favorite juice is half of pineapple and a pear. I could drink this every morning regardless of a fast or not.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Day 3

At about 7:15, a little while before my alarm was scheduled to ring, I woke up with pretty sharp pains in my stomach and some pretty bad indigestion. This fast must finally be working. After moving past the stomach pains, I really felt pretty good for most of the day. Here is day 3, and giving up food hasn’t quite been nearly as difficult as I anticipated. My sense of smell seems to have improved. The cafeteria downstairs at work smells unbelievable.

It sometimes helps to take that break in the middle of the day that I so much associate with eating too much. Today, I participated in our Holy Eucharist instead of going to lunch. The bread or Body of Christ was the first solid thing to enter my body in 3 days. The real challenge came at dinner as I sat around a bunch of the youth from the church as the enjoyed their cornbread, beef stew, and hotdogs, several times commenting on how great everything tasted. I managed to hold off and even had the energy after work to go see a movie although the smell of popcorn was almost over bearing. During the early evening, the stomach pains returned and I had what I felt was my bodies first attempt to begin the cleansing process.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Day 2

I have been reading a few people’s accounts of their own 30 day juice fasts and everyone had me terrified about day two. Although, I have been hungry most of the day, the hunger has been controllable. It was not until the afternoon that my stomach started to rumble and I worked through that. By the time the early evening rolled around I was a little nervous. I haven’t had a BM all day and this is supposed to be about detoxifying my body through a cleansing process. As I continue my fast, I am sure I can find ways of regulating this.

I made my second trip to the grocery story this evening to try some new concoctions and find ways of getting more out of my juices. I picked up a bunch of spinach, beets, sweet potatoes, random fruits such as mangos and a honey dew, cantaloupe, some ginger root, more carrots, apples, some grapes, and without sharing any more details, some laxatives.

My body feels fine surprising well, and if the rest of the days are easy as day two then bring it on. The hardest part about the day was when a friend of mine brought over his dinner and it smelled so delicious. My sense of smell is already starting to improve, especially with foods. He was having Huey's Buffalo Wings which may be one of my first meals after the fast.

Lessons learned from day 2: A half of a lemon juiced in vegetables helps make them taste a lot better.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Day 1

I woke up nervous as ever. Do I have the strength to persevere through this challenging task? I feel I have been telling so many of my friends in order to have them hold me accountable. I don’t like being proved wrong, and the more people that know about my fast, the more likely I feel I will be able to finish it.

I started the morning by juicing 5 carrots and a couple of apples. The juice tasted surprisingly good and I began to feel alright about this fast. Preparation for lunch had to happen before I left for work so I cleaned the juicer and mixed a pear, an apple, and a peace of celery together. Even by lunch I still felt strong and by the time I made it home in the early evening I still felt great. Now fruits have a bunch of sugars so I decided dinner needed to be a heavy veggie mix and that way I could have a fruit drink before bed. The veggies don’t taste nearly as good as the fruits, but I expected this.

I ended up playing basketball on Monday night. Here I hadn’t consumed any food all day, and I was able to play for 30 minutes. I cut out a little early as I was feeling a little weak, but better than I anticipated. Bedtime came around 11:00, a little earlier than usually and I felt I got the best sleep I have had in ages. This 30 day fast can’t be so bad.

The Beginning

“Nothing but juice and water for 30 days? Are you crazy and won’t you die?” or “Yeah right, good luck with that.” These are the responses that I have been hearing the last few days I have mentioned my little scheme to friends as a way of having a checks and balances system. Most everyone has asked why. To be honest I feel there are many good reasons to why a 30 day fast will be good for me. First, since high school I have put on 70 pounds and lost control of my body. I have been filling it with nothing but junk for the last eight years and am tired of being a slave to my own eating habits and lifestyles. Second, I feel the need to cleanse my body of those toxins and waste that have been building up for over twenty five years. I have not been the kindest to my body over the years and have struggled with both alcohol and tobacco addiction. And finally, 30 days puts me at Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. A fast will ultimately be a test of my patience, my ability to pray, my determination, and my faith. And when Lent finally does roll around I should be able to undertake more serious and personal spiritual disciplines and lifestyle improvements in order to further me on my own spiritual journey. Please continue to pray for me as I begin this journey.